Ah boys seemed to be very aggressive back then – lakini pia wasichana. Who was it that tokead with the “ngoto”- that thing where you scrape at someone’s kisogo with your knuckles, so someone would just be sitting at their desk and they’d get a ngoto. Then there was the “flare”, where guys used to flick at each other with their ties – ties zinaseem harmless enough until someone flicks at you with one. What about that thing called Green Mamba? where you’d wring someone’s arms kama kukamua nguo mpaka they had marks like a nyoka.
Who kumbukas the name of that weapon which involved an empty biro pen, bits of tissue (rolled into small balls with spit!), then you’d blow the ball through the biro and those things were ouch yenyewe. Hata on the ceiling there were bits of tissue stuck from that, aah disgusting kabisa. Then there were paper planes, which were used as weapons also – weeh! They had sharp corners which could cause injury.
Halafu kulikuwa na craze ya kukick someone’s butt when they weren’t looking (“Kadenge na mpira shooti goal”) mpaka people started standing with their backs to the wall just in case. There was also that craze of pushing people in the swimming pool – deep end or no deep end (hakukuwa concerns za Health & Safety). The influence of Kungu Fu/ Karate/ Taekwondo etc was also heavy. Kids would go “haaaiiiyyaaa!” (as in those Karate screams) accompanied by sijui a “chopstick” (that thing where you aim with the side of your hands). Wengine walijaribu kickboxing lakini no one could really ruka like that. When a Ninja film was shown on TV the next day kids would wear a ninja-style mask and say “prepare to exhale for the rast” in a Chinese accent.
When a fight broke out everyone would kimbia from their haos to witness it. If it was in chuo we had to keep our voices down or else a teachay would notice, so like one time a chick and a dude were fighting (zile za she knees his balls, he pinches her matiti) and it was more comedy than action, so we were half-falling over, half-applauding in whispers.
Lakini, na sio bias, chicks could maliza a dude ‘cause girls used to mature physically quicker than boys. There was this chick in our Esto who was a Muislamu and all the teenies used to mwaga mate at the sight of her. Heh-heh one teenie let it be known to her that he liked her. Wacha! When the chick heard that she banged on his gate and she was like “weeh! Unanikosea heshima!” then she pigad him many ngumi. Woiye, what a crime to be pigiwad for. Lakini that chick was later married off by her paros before she hit twenty.
When two people ajirianad a fight but one of them could clearly foresee that they would be maliziwad, they would ask their housie to standby for backup. Heh! Some housies were mbaya, yani they would fight for their hao’s kiddos bila any restraint whatsoever. One of the provocations for a fight was pointing at someone. Ai hiyo tu? Also if there was haramu in a game a fight would tokea. Another provocation was accusing someone of having a crush on someone. Wehseh! Even if it was true it was still a case for “tutafight.”
There used to be a hierarchy in our Esto of who had the most nguvu and who had the least – but, weirdly, some people had the reputation of being formidable fighters lakini hakukuwa na any living memory of them actually fighting (hao walitengeneza public relations). One day there was a blackout, and it was after dark (yani in Nai the sun would go down at sijui 6pm sharp). A fight broke out between two “quoros” and you could only see silhouettes fighting and punching. Baada ya lights returned each side claimed to have won lakini yote iliremain a mystery.
Lakini nowadays it’s not ngotos and flares, it’s visu and risasi. Back in the day the only weapons we used were sticks and stones and bare knuckles (Rocky style) lakini nowadays kiddos might go too far ‘cause weapons are more kawa. Back then, after two people or two quoros fought, after a few weeks or months you’d see them talking and laughing like no one could kumbuka any prior disagreement. Aggression is a part of growing up lakini kids shouldn’t take it to the level of visu and risasi. Hata in fact most fights were verbal – thus arose The Mchongoano.
PS: For more Kenyan Blogs click here